Mom defends 15-year-old daughter's right to drive around with her friends at night, dad is infuriated at his wife's permissive attitude: 'She left around 7:45 and I asked she be home at 10'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 16, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Everyone has different parenting styles, especially when it comes to raising teenagers. You might have been hands-off with your kid for their whole childhood, and then start to rethink that once they hit the teen years. Things have a way of changing: their needs, their moods, and your willingness to put up with them. This is why things tend to shift once your kid enters high school, and especially once they start driving. Driving is a scary task for everyone, but especially when you're first starting out. There are a lot of risks involved, and not ones you can always anticipate. 

But it's also how many teenagers get around and socialize with their friends. It's their way to have a little bit of independence, which is vital when you're crafting your own identity in teenhood. But every parent has a different way of dealing with this. Some might let go and trust that their kid is going to make the right decisions, while others might hold on so tightly that it drives their kids in the opposite direction. These parents found themselves at a crossroads. 

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  • A teenage girl drives in a car
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The mom saw her teenage daughter as exhibiting normal behavior, while her dad wanted to tighten the reins. They weren't sure how to come together as a unified voice, so they took to the internet for second opinions. Read on to see what happened in this story and what you think.

  • Argument over daughter's going out...

    Our 15 year daughter went out with two school friends last night. She left around 7:45 and I asked she be home at 10. One of the friends drove. She didn't use a final destination but typically they end up getting fast food or something similar. She is terrible at making plans but I also don't know many 15 year olds that play her entire time together they just - hang out and want to drive
    via u/CrLL2
  • somewhere independently. We have never had reason to mistrust her other than once when she came back way too late. I have never suspected drugs or alcohol. My husband was pissed that I could just let her go out without
    via u/CrLL2
  • knowing where she will be - yet we have her on FindMy. He was seriously infuriated over this and could not understand why I wouldn't be stressed over it all at. Well one friend is our neighbor and she had a very good head on her shoulders - does well in school, speaks respectfully with adults, encourages our daughter
    via u/CrLL2
  • positively...The other is a boy they are both friends with and neither girl has interest in him. They hang out all the time and my daughter doesn't give many boys the time of day to even talk to them. He's a good one.
    via u/CrLL2
  • AITAH for defending our 15 year olds ability to go out and hang out with her friends? Why do they have to beat one set location the entire time for my husband to feel at ease? Plus I can see her on FindMy and call her anytime....i feel like I was turned into the AH in this argument and that I'm a bad parent for "not knowing where she will be".
    via u/CrLL2

  • Other parents came in with their takes on the situation.

    jjj68548 1d ago My friends and I went driving around at that age. We usually ended up at the high school parking lot or walked around random stores. We changed locations so many times.
    via u/jjj68548
  • A teenage girl drives while looking at navigation.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Serious-Room-4366 1d ago • Geez, when I was that age, the whole point of leaving the house was to just drive around, and we didn't have gps locators. He's over reacting. Deep breathing, Dad.
    via u/Serious-Room-4366
  • angieinthebuilding 1d ago NTA I was the house whose parents didn't care and were never home so everybody ended up at my house doing god knows what. What I learned from this: A. Teens will do bad stuff if they want to. B. The ones with strict parents go crazier than the rest.
    via u/angieinthebuilding
  • Let your teen go out and trust her to make her own decisions With the feeling of that trust she will be more careful. If you make her feel restricted all she'll want is to break free.
    via u/angieinthebuilding
  • Your hb is worried about what she's doing. That I cannot fix. But believe me what a teen needs is freedom with tips. Not restrictions and control. When things go south, you want her to call you. If you say no no no, she'll never call if she did it anyway. God knows what'll happen then. And if she'll ever tell you at all.
    via u/angieinthebuilding
  • nooutlaw4me · 1d ago . NTA. Tell your husband that helicopter parenting is habit forming and is not good for his mental health. I say this from experience.
    via u/nooutlaw4me
  • lilaclady50 • 1d ago Ummm... He does realize she'll be an adult in three years, right? How are kids these days going to be able to function independently when they leave the nest if they can't practice?
    via u/lilaclady50
  • . sparkling-sun 1d ago NTAH at all!! Your daughter has a reasonable curfew and you can always see her on Find My. I have 3 children. I've learned that the majority of their night is the journey not the destination. They never have set plans like us adults make and they change their minds throughout the night. Especially girls!! (Soooo indecisive)
    via u/sparkling-sun
  • I always just ask my kids to let me know where they are/end up. (& they do) it's more like a "hi! Ended up at X's place" or "hi! Downtown getting food!" And that's all I need to know. I think it's important to give boundaries yet teach our kids to be independent and autonomous beings at the same time. Hubs is overreacting.
    via u/sparkling-sun
  • Initi... . • . 1d ago Edited 1d ago My husband and I were comfortable with Findmy and an occasional "proof of life"'s as we call them. She had to text us from time to time, especially when leaving one location and arriving at a new one... so I know she hadn't been kidnapped. A photo will
    via u/Initial_Scarcity3775
  • suffice. I explained to her and all her friends that because my father was a cop, It was drilled into me that if they are kidnapped, I had 24 hours to find them or I'd never see them again. The selfies gave me location information, descriptions regarding what they're wearing, cars they're
    via u/Initial_Scarcity3775
  • driving, who they hung out with... all the info the police would have asked me. They got used to doing it for me and now I also have the added benefit of this amazing library of selfies throughout the years of her and her friends. It became a fun thing for them to send me the proof of life selfies. If they forget or
    via u/Initial_Scarcity3775
  • if I thought too much time had passed, I'd do a "find my" ping on her phone with a text that just said "POL" and a few seconds later I'd see 5 or 6 smiling faces piled into the photo with a heart emoji.
    via u/Initial_Scarcity3775
  • No-You5550 • 1d ago So you know right where your daughter is and you can talk to her at any point. But your husband is upset you can not predict where your daughter will be in 5 minutes? I'm 70f and yes, I grew up with the TV saying "It's 10 o'clock do
    via u/No-You5550
  • you know where your kids are?" Back then you only had the kids word about where they were. Tell dad this is not the 1960s. Your GPS is way better than the word of any teen.
    via u/No-You5550
  • Medusa_7898 · 1d ago • Remind dad that if she has no autonomy now she will go crazy when she leaves the home.
    via u/Medusa_7898
  • Glossy P 1d ago . NTA but a serious calm convo is in order. He may well be projecting his own teenage behavior onto your daughter. While that's not unusual it needs to be acknowledged and dealt with head on. He may not even realize it.
    via u/GlossyP
  • OTOH, he may simply be overprotective and needs to deal with that because she is only getting older and more independent. Lots of good resources available for him to understand why being overprotective is unhealthy for him, your daughter and your family overall. Good luck!
    via u/GlossyP
  • Iwentforalongwalk • 1d ago I'm dying reading this. When I was 15 my curfew was 10pm. My Mom wanted to know whom I was with but other than that they let us run wild. We were actually pretty good kids and usually just played pinball at the bowling alley but the point is parental supervision was pretty lax back in the 80s
    via u/Iwentforalongwalk
  • • oylaura 1d ago NTA. Trust your kid until she gives you a reason not to. I promise you that if you follow your husband's advice and treat her like she's doing something bad, she'll fulfill that prophecy. I mean seriously, if I were being punished for something I didn't do, I might as well earn it.
    via u/oylaura
  • I will give your husband this much -- he knows what a 15- year-old boy has on his mind, but he's projecting onto these kids what he would do and assuming the worst.
    via u/oylaura

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teens teenagers moms parenting dad parents children
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